Floral Design Tools Crossword Answer Key

Constructor: Dan Schoenholz

Relative difficulty: Easy (8:30, under the influence of a reasonably strong mint julep)

THEME: "Initial Impressions" — All clues are [some letter] + [hyphen] + [some word]; all answers are punny two-word representations of the clue, where the first ("Initial") word of the answer begins with the first letter of the clue and the second word of the answer is a synonym of, or otherwise represents a quality of, the post-hyphen part of the clue.

Theme answers:

COVERED BRIDGE (23A: C-Span?) ("C" is for COVERED, and a BRIDGE is ... a? ... span? Or it spans ... a river or whatever?)
POTTY MOUTH (40A: P-trap?) ("P" is for POTTY, and "trap" can mean MOUTH)
GERMAN ARMY (44A: G-force?) ("G" is for GERMAN, and an ARMY is a kind of "force")
GARDEN APARTMENT (65A: G-flat?) ("G" is for GARDEN, an APARTMENT is a "flat")
DIRTY TRICK (91A: D-Con?) ("D" is for DIRTY, a "con" is a TRICK)
ELMER'S GLUE (94A: E-bond?) ("E" is for ELMER'S, and GLUE is a "bond" ... -ing agent? Forms a bond?)
COMPASS NEEDLE (113A: C-sharp?) ("C" is for COMPASS, a NEEDLE is "sharp")

Word of the Day: PERGOLA(5D: Floral archway) —

2 :a structure usually consisting of parallel colonnades supporting an open roof of girders and cross rafters (merriam-webster.com)

• • •

Pretty tepid on this one. The theme ... you can see in the description that it just isn't as consistent as it thinks it is. Most of the post-hyphen clue words are fitting clue words for the second word in the theme answer (e.g. "trap" = MOUTH, "flat" = APARTMENT), but with COVERED BRIDGE , "span" ... yeah, I guess in some attenuated way, a BRIDGE is *a* span ... like, you could force me to believe there's some noun-for-noun equivalency going on. but I * think* the clue / answer just wants you to be satisfied with the fact that a bridge is something that "spans" ... something. But let's say you think, no, BRIDGE and "span" are absolutely synonyms, "span" can be a noun, this is totally consistent ... well, then, OK, what are you doing with COMPASS NEEDLE as [C-sharp?]? Because there's no way that NEEDLE = "sharp." Noun cannot clue adjective. Needles *are* sharp, yes, but you can't clue NEEDLE as "Sharp." That is a massive violation of crossword rules, where clue and answer have to be the same parts of speech. And *that* means that part of speech *never* mattered for this theme. That second word only has to be vaguely associated with its clue word. And *that* means that the theme is just ... really loose. Too loose to be very impressive. Also, totally arbitrary. You can do this forever, with a bunch of letter-hyphen-word things. I mean, [C-section?] could be, uh, CANTALOUPE SLICE? CENTERPIECE? CODPIECE? CONCERT PIECE? CHESS PIECE? [J-pop?] could be JOLT COLA ... [T-top?] could be TIN ROOF *or* TUXEDO SHIRT *or* god knows what else. A-team B-movie C-clamp D-list E-card F-Troop G-string etc. I'm sure brighter minds than mine can come up with plausible answers for all these. So why not make the letters *mean* something ... *spell* something or just *do* something? Why go to the "G" well twice? (G-flat, G-force). Why go to the music well twice? (G-flat, C-sharp). Feels slapdash and just not ... ambitious enough.

It was easy, though, and the grid was reasonably clean, so I didn't have a terrible time solving it. It was just disappointing to realize, at the end, how poorly the whole theme held together, conceptually. The grid drifts into old-school crosswordese on occasion ( EPODE, ERAT, ROLEO ), but not so much that it gets annoying. I forgot what a PERGOLA was, so that was one of the tougher parts. I also don't really know what a GARDEN APARTMENT is. Appears to have a couple meanings:

noun

an apartment on the ground floor of an apartment building having direct access to a backyard or garden.

a low-level apartment building or building complex surrounded by lawns and trees, shrubbery, or gardens. (dictionary.com)

PERFIDY is a great word but I don't think I knew it specifically meant betrayal. I thought it was just "a really bad deed" (although if I follow Dante, and I always do, then the worst "really bad deed" is, in fact, betrayal). Thought the clue for PERIL was pretty tenuous. Specific-for-general is often dicey, and in this case, yikes (70D: Climate change, e.g.). I thought the brawlers at 25A: Start brawling were going to GET AT IT instead of GET IT ON , which is weird, as I've had " GET IT ON (Bang a Gong)" in my head for much of the day.

My last and most emphatic point is that it's "artsy-fartsy," not ARTY-FARTY . Just checked, and when I google [" ARTY-FARTY "] in quotation marks like that, what comes up immediately is a definition for ... [drum roll] ... "artsy-fartsy." Once again, the prosecution rests. Sad when you botch the most creative element of your grid. Ah well. Enjoy your Sunday.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

P.S. apparently a "sharp" is a sewing needle, and in medical terminology a "sharp" is any instrument that is sharp, including syringe needles. My dad was a doctor and my mom, stepmom, sister, all nurses, I've never heard "sharp" used to mean simply "needle," so I still say it's weak, and I know "span" is not a

noun

meaning simply BRIDGE, so the theme remains wobbly for all the many reasons stated above.

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